Your best isn't good enough!
- Keshia Torruella
- Nov 11, 2023
- 3 min read
Updated: Nov 8, 2024
The shock of separation and Divorce brought one revelation to the forefront, it showed me that no matter how hard I worked and tried to change, it still was not good enough to fix things. I remember feeling like a pop locker, popping into place trying to fix something that couldn't be fixed by me. No matter how pretty I was, smart I was, how much money I had or even how quiet I tried to be, it could not fix, what Satan was determined to destroy. For years I scramble through my mind thinking, " if I could have just done this better, or if only I didn't say that!", only to now realize that the problem was never me, but yet God didn't interviene.
The abuse and mental game play left me so broken that the person I saw in the mirror was ugly, worthless, forgotten, not good enough, someone no one would want. So I worked harder, loosing 50lbs, getting more degrees and continued to strive for a person who had no capability of love, He couldn't even see me, he only saw the hurt and pain that he lived in.
God watched my efforts, I honestly could hear him chuckle as I tired to fix what only He could fix. Then oneday, he said ENOUGH! He placed me in a situation that I could do nothing to fix it, even as I prayer for it, the opposite happened.
I finally gave up, I surrendered, I came to the end of myself. I looked at my situation and said God I trust in your plans for me, and I let go. I began to see the truth, in my darkest hour. I saw myself as God created me, every chain fell to the ground and I became diligent in my seeking of the Lord. I approached the immovable situation by praying over them and having faith that God's will would be done. I rose above my self wisdom and self work and found comfort in the things I couldn't do. I began to understand that the steps of the Righteous are ordered, and I am where I'm supposed to be. I now realize that my best will never be good enough because I serve a God, that brings me to tables, I don't have the credentials to be at, I serve a God that goes before me making my crooked path straight. I serve a God, who is a miracle worker.
Today I want to encourage you to give up. It's not going to happen the way you think. Yes your blessed with Talents and preserverance, but sometimes through our presumption, we press forward going the wrong way, or moving forward during the wrong time. Trust in God. No longer look at your situation as the world does.
If Ruth would have gone home to be with her family....there would be no David. In a human mind why would she go with Naomi, Oprah went to be with her family. Look, what looks Normal to the world is not God's way, his ways are higher. I want to encourage you to keep chasing him, trusting him following him, he will never put you to shame.
Restorations are coming, not because you worked for it, but because God's will, will be done!
Comment: Father I trust you, allow your will to be done!
Shalom
Keshia Torruella
I came back to read this because it’s so good! If you would ever be willing to share how you were able to see yourself as God sees you that would be super super helpful! Thank you!
Father I trust you, allow Your will to be done!
Father I trust You, allow Your will to be done! Amen! 🤍🙏🏻
Thank you for sharing! I think I’m at this point where I realize there is nothing I can do and now I’m not sure what to do if that makes sense. But I think I hear you talking about a season of understanding who God says you are and not trying to become better for the sake of thinking it will fix things. I hear myself in what you are sharing.
Father, I trust you, allow your will to be done!